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    March 18

    记惦

      听一首歌,反反复复,一整个下午的刺眼阳光。

      陌生弄堂,偶遇相识的摊贩老板,闲聊,再见。或许再见的确会再见。

      看朋友的留言,看陌生人的留言,看曾经爱过的人的留言。形形色色的留言,在最后标识着不同的日期。

      日期,亦曾努力回想一些不愿失去记忆的日期。去到那些地方,看当时用笔留下的只言。触动,幸好它们还在那里。不理物是人非。

      又剪短了头发,斜斜的浏海。浏海,随着额头上疤痕的消失,其实早已失去存在的意义。只是习惯了它的存在,遮蔽,不愿见光的自己。

      对阳光无所谓厌恶或者喜好,只是习惯了避让。夜行动物,一杯酒,一首歌。无需拥抱。自己的双手,就可以营造一个温馨的港湾。

      友人曾劝诫说,在我身上有死亡的气息。浓重,并且腐朽。偶尔会发短信给我,没有多余的话,内容只是输入我的名字。我的任何回复她都不再多说什么,她只要知道我还活着,仅此。

      对一些熟络的朋友而言,我像是孩子般直接并且乖巧。安安静静地坐在那里,自娱自乐。对一些陌生的人而言,我冷漠并且粗俗,不可靠近,不敢接近。

      只是那些人,我不愿意付出,因无法彼此担当。生命中有太多如此不可承受之重。

      距离,始终存在于我们身边。

      又开始想起死亡。对于我,死亡,终究如亲密的爱人,无需问安,无需承诺,就知道,不离不弃。死亡也并非是所向披靡,第一次生命丧失以后,再没有另一次死亡。

      看见这段话,曾经触目惊心。然,终究明白了其中所言。我们都在路上,殊途同归。

      天气渐暖,又将远行。我记得要去看望一些朋友,我记得的。

      然,你们还记得我吗?

    Comments (1)

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    Z Mr.wrote:
    许久未见更新。
    不知近来可好。
    Mar. 18

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